In a film with many poignant, moving scenes, there is one that stands out for me among them. The film is The Shawshank Redemption. The scene is a prison yard where every inmate is standing still as the sounds from a record player somewhere inside are echoing the operatic delivery of a feminine soprano. The result is a group of people who are both mesmerized and lost in the beauty of something foreign yet breathtaking at the same time.
But there is one main problem with this scene, as fantastic as it is. The prisoners are still in the prison yard. The transcendence of the moment did nothing for their actual situations and so the feelings were eventually lost. And what is left is the same prison they were in before.
I have noticed something similar in my faith journey and in the journeys of those around me. It seems we are all stuck in a prison of some kind. We remain in the dark, damp cells of the prisons of our negative habits, our low self-worth, our inabilities to live up to expectations. We inhabit the cycles of abuse and self-loathing as inmates of our own spiritual penitentiary.
Then we hear about freedom. We hear that we will know the truth and that it will actually set us free. We read that Christ came to bring us freedom. And we want to believe. It sounds beautiful. And in moments where someone is speaking to us about this subject of being free from the prisons we are in, we feel free and the moment becomes transcendent.
But when the emotions are gone, many of us, including myself, realize that we are really still stuck inside the prison that we began. And the more this song and dance happens, the less powerful each moment becomes. Ultimately, we know that we really won’t be able to leave because of our previous attempts to do so.
The problem becomes our inability to understand the song that is playing, the truth that is real. In the opera, the inmates were not able to decipher the lyrics. So the song sounds beautiful, but the lyrics are unintelligible. The idea of freedom from our sins, from our habits, from our destructive emotional thoughts sounds amazing. The song is wonderful. But we don’t truly understand the lyrics. The truth doesn’t fully make sense.
I know for me it is a hard thing. We live in a world that is under the authority of one who has been called the Prince of Lies. And I know that I continue to live under those lies in many ways. Even though there is no condemnation for those in Christ, it is a comfortable bed I sleep in some nights. Even though there is joy and peace that is rightly mine to claim, I so often leave them on the shelf because my hands are stained with the guilt of my sins.
Our sins plague us. Our choices haunt us. But we have been given freedom through Christ to overcome these things. Our past is truly behind us and we are able to finally know the lyrics of truth if we really stop and take the time to read and understand them.
The prison doors have been open for a long time. The issue is that we have continued to sit in the cell. Maybe we didn’t know it. Maybe we have grown comfortable. Whatever the issue, there is a reality waiting for all of us right outside the door.
My prayer is a hard one and one that I am learning. In fact, the more I seem to be on this journey of faith, the harder it seems to get to believe some of these. The more that I discover about my inner self, the worse I feel about my present condition. But I can also trust that I am somehow making progress on this road. I can trust that the Holy Spirit is continuing to lead me and guide me into who I was made to be. And it is in this that we can begin to believe the opera being sung over us, as we come alive to the truth that been proclaimed all along.